Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
