got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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