I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize