If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize