I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
