you guys were way drunker than both of me
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
