and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
