I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
