his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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