More tranny stories later!
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
