Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
