your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
