You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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