I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
