Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
