Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
