party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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