You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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