"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
