I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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