Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
