As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
