Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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