Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
