you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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