Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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