I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
