clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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