So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I need a beard to bite.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
