Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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