CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
