Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
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She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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