I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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