you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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