I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
