OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I fill condoms, not promises.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
