This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize