I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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