sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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