my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
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Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
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I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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