just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
