Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
