Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
