yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
