i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
