508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
