Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
