How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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