alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
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