I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
NoShamevember. You game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize