OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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