I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Randomize
