There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just gargled with NyQuil
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