He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Randomize