you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
you made out with another girl for some wings
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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