If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
