i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
