She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
