New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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