I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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