I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
