he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
